The words, “The older I get…” have been tumbling out of my mouth at an alarmingly high frequency lately. This is typically followed by some statement about my feelings on love, sex, or some other thing that at the time is relevant, but later will be rendered completely arbitrary and, if taken out of context, unrecognizable. Is this bad? Probably not, it adds some level of flavor to a conversation. However, it makes me question whether or not the things I’m saying are based on my age at all. If they are, why must I preface the change in my opinion with a qualification of my age? Perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t think that being 20 necessarily allows you to have an opinion that is qualified on anything.

To focus on a topic I seem to be discussing with everyone lately, but is never supposed to talk about in mixed company, I’m going to talk about sex for a second. It’s been an ideal that was instilled in most of us of a religious background that sex was something for marriage. Something that you saved yourself for until you’re wedding night. Someone may want to inform our middle schools of this, but that’s another issue. The issue that seems to be most on my mind however, is the idea of the right person.

We’re living in a world that places an extreme emphasis on the idea of a knight in shining armor, a soul mate, or some equivalent of the previous examples. The sort of thing that Hollywood teaches us from an early age to accept as the universal standard for love. For instance, Chuck Klosterman has referenced his blame of John Cusack for this, and his eternal thanks to Woody Allen for ever getting him laid. I don’t support the religious reasons, and my take on Hollywood is all the more reason to not support this course of action either. The idea however that I should bow to the Woody Allen school of thought and get sex all willy nilly (as Scott Adams writer of <i>Dilbert</i> put it) seems equally absurd.

Religion places the need for sex in the bedroom, and it is fairly specific in it’s declarations. Though it varies from religion to religion, the concept is more or less overarchingly the same. The idea is that sex is something for the marital bed, whether it be for procreation or recreation. The focus of religion is abstinence, yet from all indications I’ve ever heard, religious camps are some of the more notoriously sexually charged environments. This would seem to be an unfortunate lapse in teachings.

Hollywood looks at the subject from many different angles. As a matter of fact multi-angle pornography is quite prevalent (If you don’t believe go play with Google). Furthermore, the industry of pornography is one of the most lucrative and prevalent businesses in and out of the country. (I’m trying very hard not to make a number of off color puns). Ignoring the individuals inevitably ingrained into the memory of the 18 - 34 male crowd, we’re going to focus on the more family friendly side of Hollywood, and the overall effect it’s had on the general population. There are really two faces to this coin. The first is that of gallant true love, while the other is that of movies like <i>Old School</i>. Which is more realistic is most likely <i>Old School</i>, although it’s loathed to admit this. Most people would prefer to believe that certain event of <i>Bambi</i> never happened and that <i>Titanic</i> ended radically differently. We’ll also ignore any interpretations or linkages between <i>Star Wars</i> (the original trilogy, not the new one) and state of Arkansas.

The idea that love is not always fairy tale, and that we all aren’t whisked away from our dream like state as <i>Snow White</i>, or from our tower like <i>Sleeping Beauty</i> is monstrously troubling to some people. Yet, it isn’t fair to say that these individuals are solely the result of their growth experience. It takes an individual’s willingness to believe in this concept. I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to crush this dream for these people. If they choose to believe it, maybe they’ll be lucky. Even these hopelessly romantic and impossible movies have a value to our society’s culture and it’s growth.

Yet, to believe the opposite, that love is something shallow and noncommittal to be thrown about like a rag doll, is no better. The idea that people can inconsequentially just have sex everywhere with anyone and then move on seems equally unlikely. The idea that one night stands and sex outside of relationships is something wonderful and easily done is nothing but a lie. Yet we have character types for this. In today’s society, even the morals (if you can call them that) instilled by The <i>Breakfast Club</i> seem broken. With the ending to that movie, perhaps even that’s not a fitting example to determine anything. Lets not forget the all time questionable faux pas of a movie, <i>Sixteen Candles</i>. What happened in Jake’s father’s car that night? Farmer Ted seems confused, and Caroline, well lets put it this way, these days that’s rape. The movie offers no resolutions to Samantha Baker’s virginity being kept or lost, and certainly no resolution to the ramifications for “The Geek” and Caroline.

Perhaps we should take the advice of the priest in <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> (Baz Luhrmanns version), and love moderately. Should every partner be the one? Certainly not, the population of the world would not be what it is. Should we have sex with everyone that’s willing? Certainly not, aside from being exceedingly risky, what would remain special, and what would you regret. The answers are ambiguous, the choices, individualistic. With all these mixed messages, it’s a beautiful wonder love gets through at all.

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